Butter Knives Have Swag
by It was a Dark and Stormy Night
Summary: It was time for summer vacation. Kagami decides to go back to America while Kuroko joins up with the rest of the Miracles to reform the Generation of Miracles, just for that summer. Once school starts again, Seirin find two completely different people. Kuroko, The Successor of Akashi and Kagami, the Swag Fag. Crack! OOC! Slight Akakuro if you squint
1. Chapter 1

Well... You see guys, I decided to make a multi chapter fanfiction. I was inspired by '50% Off!' By Octopimp. Why? You'll see. I don't know if I will continue this, but here you go~

Warnings: OOC Kuroko and Kagami, SwagFags

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko No Basket.

"Well this is it guys…" "DON'T SOUND SO DEPRESSING BAKAGAMI!" The team shouted back. Well except for Kuroko, because well… he's Kuroko. "You're only leaving for the break. You'll come back. Right?" Kiyoshi asked with a cheeky grin. "Heck yeah I'm coming back! Without me, you're all hopeless! Especially Kuroko." Everyone rolled their eyes. Kuroko kicked Kagami in the knees. "OW! WHAT THE… KUROKO!" "That is very mean Kagami-kun. I am fully capable of taking care of myself." They all laughed. Kuroko always managed to make them laugh, or cause them a heart attack. They were currently at the airport. Kagami had to go back to America to check on his "old man." He also wanted to improve his street basketball so he could beat Aomine without Kuroko. "Bring us back some souvenirs kay?" Furihata asked Kagami. "Yeah, cause I'm totally rich and can buy all of you gifts." "Well you do have a WHOLE apartment for yourself." Riko responded. Everyone nodded. "Fine, yeesh you guys…" "We also threw you a party Kagami-kun; I think we would deserve something." "OK! I get it!" "Well, come back soon Kagami! Don't you dare find another team to play for!" Hyuga yelled out as Kagami boarded the plane. "Like that will ever happen!" Kagami smiled one of his trademark smiles and gave them a thumbs up.

(Time Skip)

"Welcome to the basketball club first years! I hope we have an awesome year!" They all gave out a cheer. There were only 4 new club members after the seniors made them do _that thing_ again. They were all average player, nothing like Kagami. "Yes, I hope we will all be able to get along." Kuroko spoke up. The team screamed a very high pitched but very manly scream. "KUROKO! Where were you! We tried to contact you but you never responded!" After Kagami had left for America, Kuroko was never seen again by Seirin. "Ah… sorry, Akashi-kun asked us to team up again for a summer basketball camp." Everyone sweat dropped, Akashi asked him? More like forced him or at least bribed him with milkshakes. "So how was camp?" Kawahara asked. "Very well. After we defeated the Miracles, they were back to basketball loving idiots. But, I also earned a new skill thanks to Akashi-kun." Everyone perked up. "Umm.. Who is this Akashi-kun?" The first years asked. Right… they were new. "He was Kuroko's former captain. Also part of the 'Generation of Miracles.'" The first years nodded. "He is also the devil reincarnate." Hyuga added. Everyone shivered. "So what was this new skill you learned?" Riko asked. "It could really be some help in games." Riko asked. "Oh… well um…" Kuroko said nervously. They whole team gasped. KUROKO DOES NOT STUTTER! The new skill must be very strong for him to that. "Well, if you really want to…" Everyone nodded. Kuroko coughed a few times, fished something out of his pocket… and threw it at one of the first years. "You dare defy me underling?" Kuroko asked in a dark and scary way. He glared at them and… they ran to the bathroom. "Ah.. Sorry, it appears that I scared them." They rest of the teams stared at the wall. Kuroko somehow managed to throw a butter knife and cut off some of the first year's hair. _THAT IS DEFFINATLY AKASHI'S DOING!"_ "How… What…" Everyone looked at Kuroko. He was still his blank self. "That was excellent Tetsuya, seems like you improved you aim." Speak of the devil… Suddenly, the rest of the Generation of Miracles appeared. "Thank you Akashi-kun."

"Kurokocchi is so scary when he does that…" Kise said weakly. Aomine shuddered. "Oh god…" Midorima was petting his stuffed bear (his lucky item maybe) furiously. Murasakibara stopped eating for few seconds. But Akashi, he had a proud smile on him. He walked over to Kuroko and gave him a pat on the back. Great…another Akashi? But wait! This one could disappear. They all shuddered at the thought of what the new Kuroko could do to them. "Ah, it was nothing Seijuro." Everyone mentally slapped themselves. KUROKO DOES NOT CALL ANYONE BY THEIR GIVEN NAME. This day was getting crazier and crazier. Akashi just stood there proudly, patting his own chest. "I am so proud of you Tetsuya…" Akashi wiped off a fake tear. They all sweat dropped. "NO FAIR! Call me by my name too Kurokocchi~" "No way! YOU still call him by his last name! I call him Tetsu! So I should be called my name!" "You could call me by my given name… not that I care of anything." "Kuro-chin~ Call me by my name too~" Kuroko glanced at the rainb- I mean Miracles. He let out a sigh. "Ahomine-kun, Kise-kun, Midorima, and Atsushi-kun." "Yay~ Kuro-chin called me by me given name~" Murasakibara ate his chips happily. "He dropped the '-Kun' in my name." Midorima said proudly. "WHAAA~ Kurokocchi is so mean…ssu…" Kise cried in his emo corner. "OI! Why does everyone call me that?!" Aomine crossed his arms and sat on the bench, silently sulking because his former shadow thought so low of him. "Anyway, when did you start calling Akashi by his given name Kuroko?" Everyone asked the shadow. "Well…"

(Flash back to the Summer Camp)

"Alright, take a break everyone." Akashi commanded. Everyone fell to the floor. "Tetsuya, come with me. I need to show you something." Kuroko nodded and followed Akashi. "Kurokocchi! Guys, Akashicchi is going to do something bad to Kurokocchi!" "We don't care." Came everyone's response. Back to the emo corner you go Kise. While Kise was sulking, Akashi was telling Kuroko something. "Since you managed to… defeat me… in the Winter Cup, I will show you my secret to being a cruel dictator of the world." Kuroko sweatdropped at the last few words Akashi said. And so, Kuroko and Akashi became the cruel harsh trainers of the GoMs.

(Reality)

"After Seijuro taught me all there was to know about being evil, I decided to call him Seijuro. Rule Number 68: If you acknowledge anyone highly, then you shall call them by their given name." Kuroko raised his hand for a high-five to Akashi and Akashi gave him one. You could hear everyone thoughts. 'I have no idea what happened over the summer.' Was on everyone's minds. "Well, it was a pleasure to see that you improved Tetsuya. We will take our leave." So all of the Miracles left. Except Aomine, he was still crying. "I'll go mop that up." Said one of the first years. All of a sudden, the gym door burst open. Everyone was a gape. There stood Kagami… with his pants all the way down to his knees or something like that. "What…happened?" Seirin asked. Kagami, along with his pants, had a baggy red super oversized shirt with the worlds 'YOLO' on it. His cap was also red and has in black lettering 'SAWGG'. Aomine bursted out laughing and rolled on the floor. "What up mha niggas?" He said in an American accent. He took off his large shades and walked in, dragging his pants behind him. "And what happened to you Taiga?" Kuroko asked as he eyed Kagami's clothing. _Disgusting..._Thought Kuroko. "Whoa, what happened to you bro?" Kagami asked. "Nothing is wrong… it's just your outfit is disturbing to my eyes." "Well, idk bout you but I got swaggg." Kagami stretched out that last word. "Um, Kagami I don't think the school would let you wear that." "Screw the school, YOLO! Am I right?" Kagami smirked. "OH GOD MY EYES!" Aomine started rolling on the floor along with Seirin. "So what did you do… *laugh*… In America?" "Well for starters… I just got out of prison. But screw that, it was awesome. Met some homies and shit. Food was great. It was all free too. Got let out for good behavior. Pfft, I showed them." Kagami pulled out his iphone and started playing some American songs. "Dis is mha jam!" He yelled out after a few seconds. No one knew what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the second chapter of this randomized Fanfiction~ I am glad people like it. Because it was really random. And I don't really feel like writing today. Why? ATTACK ON TITAN/ SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN FEELS ARE TOO MUCHHHH. PETRAAAAAA WHYYYYYY?!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko No Basket

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The door busted open. There stood the Miracles… again. "We came here to pick up Daiki." Akashi said calmly. Then, Kagami walked over to them and asked "What up hommies?" Kise fell to the floor laughing. Midorima bursted out laughing. Murasakibara spit out his snacks and choked. Aomine weakly walked over to them and fell, laughing again. "OH GOD! KAGAMICCHI!" "I have never seen anyone so… hilarious in my life!" "Kaga-chin… PFFFTTTT." "Wut? Why ya laughing at mha swag?" Kuroko kept his calm façade with Akashi. "Tetsuya, Atsushi, Daiki, Ryouta, and Shintarou, we are leaving. This idiotic… player going to affect you." "OI! You can't just take Kuroko from us like that!"Too late. The rainbow squad left the building, dragging along Kise and Aomine, who they could still hear laughing. "So, am I pimp or watt?"

The next day Kuroko came to practice, Kagami was in his uniform, his pants were still very low though. "Wut up, shawty?" The WHOLE TEAM asked their beloved shadow. "What… happened to you?" Kuroko pointed at everyone. They were all wearing their uniform in a… how to put this, awkward way. "Well, Kagami taught us how to have swag! Wadda you think?" Koganei asked. We wore his team sweater around his waist and pants rolled up to his knees. Kuroko remembered what Akashi told him they day before.

'_Taiga will infect his whole team with… SWAGFECTION." "What is that Akashi?" Midorima asked. There were not a lot of things the green head did not know. "It is a new disease in America, it's when a teen starts to think that they have something called 'Swag'. It is very dangerous, and that is why Tetsuya will not attend practice until it has died down." "…How long will it take Seijuro?" Akashi was silent for a few seconds. The group started at Akashi. 'Swagfection' was an interesting thing. "A week at the shortest. Even adults have it. It is a very embarrassing thing to look back at. I don't want any of you to be infected alright?" "Yes Akashi."_

"Did you just call me…? Shorty?" The whole room tensed up. Kuroko was not short they learned. He might be… but let's just not call that in front of his face. "No way bro! You aren't short! You're just fun sized!" Kagami said with a smirk. "YOU DARE CALLME SHORT?" Kuroko threw a butter knife at Kagami's Swag cap. "NO! MY HAT!" Kagami ran over to recover his hat that contained his 'swag.' "Oh it's on nigga!" "I am not such a… low thing…" Kuroko said with a hard glare. "Let's settle this…with a Hamburger eating contest! First one to finish is the loser!" "You know how much I despise eating more than necessary." "Then let settle this with basketball!" "Fine with me. Prepared to be crushed." The whole teamed "OHHHHHH!"ed.

Kuroko brushed his hair to one side. "You done Kagami-kun?" "Yup." The wild tiger grunted. He was trying to seal up the hole the butter knife made. "If I beat you, you're getting me another hat." Kagami said. "If I win, you're getting a vanilla milkshake and some forks." "First to 10?" Kagami said with a smirk. "Sure, like I would lose to someone as low as you." Kuroko said knowingly. After Riko threw the ball up, Kagami grabbed it out of the air before Kuroko could even have a chance to jump. Kagami smirked while Kuroko's face remained normal. Kagami maneuvered around Kuroko and scored the first basket. He gave out a laugh. "You'll never be able to beat me Kuro; I have way too much swag right now." The team "oooooh!"ed again. "Whatever Kagami-kun, I still have tricks up my sleeve, all you have are dunks." Kuroko said as he appeared out of nowhere and snatched the ball away from him. He disappeared again and managed to throw a three pointer with his 'Phantom Shot.' "No way! Kuroko never could throw a three pointer before!" "Whoa! Wait what are we wearing?" "It's our uniform baka! But why is it all…" "BAKAGAMI! WHAT DID YOU DO TO US?!" Kagami froze while Kuroko passed him and threw another basket. "Yo! I didn't do anything! I just pimped you up!" "I won. Kagami, you owe me forks and a milkshake." "You only scored 5 points!" "I don't care. Do you want me to throw you another knife?" Kuroko said smirking as he showed Kagami his butter knives. "Lol nope. Nope, get me away from him. Nope."Kagami walked out the door along with Kuroko.

"So, can I stay at your house Kuro?" "No. You'll do something to it." "Like hell I would, I just want to pimp it up." "That's what I meant." Well wateva. I'll get into your house somehow." Kagami shrugged and left. Finally, no more 'swag' and 'YOLO' were vocabulary words. He swore, if Kagami didn't stop soon, he was going to need the GoM's help in hiding the body. Once he got home, he unlocked the gates. Some people might not believe him, but he was quite rich. His mother was a famous writer and his father owned a programming company called 'NightMare'. He opened the door to find… Kagami sitting on his couch. "Damn Kuro, you house is PIMP!" He shouted out, causing his butlers to look at his classmate. "How did you get into my house… also, how did you find my house?" "Well, I followed you home once and… you don't need to know. Plus, I told one of your butlers that I was your friend and he let me in." Silence filled the room. "I'm going to Seijuro's house. Prepare the car." "OI! Don't leave me here with your rachet butlers and maids!" "Good bye Kagami-kun." "NOOOOOO STOP!" Kagami jumped up and ran. "I'm leaving Kagami-kun." He added darkly, "Don't you dare touch my room or even think about following me," and hopped in his car, then drove off. "But… I wanted to pimpize your room…"

_To: Seijuro_

_I am coming to your house and staying the night. Kagami-kun has somehow invaded into my house and now knows where I live. I will move to one of my other mansions soon. I don't know HOW he followed me home but I'm not going back there. I locked my room and all my other rooms as well. I am not going back. Ever. One more "I HAVE TOO MUCH SWAGGGG. YOU CAN'T TAME MHEEEEE!" And I'll kill myself._

_From: Tetsuya_


	3. Chapter 3

Here is the finale you all been waiting for. I am not feeling so well so… yeah. BUT FOR ALL YOU WHO LIKE AKAKURO I made this thinking about all you. Feel loved. Akakuro hints everywhere.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KUROKO NO BASKET.

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"Ah Tetsuya, I see you somehow got into my room…again." Akashi said as he sighed. Kuroko looked up in his position. Lying against the fluffy white pillows while reading a book. "Well you weren't home, so I made myself at home." He said blankly as he got off the bed. After Kuroko texted Akashi, he got a reply. _"Don't you dare go into my room."_ Was the simple reply. But he decided to ignore it. The first time Akashi brought the Generation of Miracles to his house, they were all awestruck, except Kuroko that was. He simply said, "It's pretty similar to my house," and walked over to the bookshelf examining everything the way there. And somehow… he managed to be able to prick any lock he wanted. Even the DNA ones. Every secret you have… is not safe when Kuroko is around. "So why are you here again?" Akashi said tiredly as he plopped his head on Kuroko's lap. "He keeps one following me home and saying weird things…" "Like what?" Kuroko coughed awkwardly as he tried to copy Kagami's words. "Dats tight." There was an awkward silence until Akashi decided to start laughing. Kuroko gave him a curious stare. Akashi Seijuro does not simply laugh that much.

The day after Kagami somehow stalked Kuroko back to his house was everything but normal. First he got a text from Kagami at 8:00 PM asking, "Yo, where you at?" He simply shut down his phone and went back to sleep with Akashi. When he was walking to school, he bumped into Kagami talking to Aomine. "Yo! Ahomine!" "Bakagami, what are you doing here?!" "It's the way to mha school bro." "Well it's my way to school too…" Silence between them. "So, where you get dat weave from?" Kagami asked as he pointed to Aomine's hair. "What… is weave?" Kagami simply walked away leaving Aomine thinking about "weave." When he was eating lunch with Kuroko, he guy didn't have many friends outside of basketball, he told one of the boys insulting Kuroko about his height, "YO! STOP BEIN SO GHETTO!" After class Kuroko caught a glimpse of Kagami asking a girl out? But as he listened to the conversation, he walked away face palming. What did Kagami say? "Hey, I'll pay you to have a crush on me." When Kagami and Kuroko were having their daily meet at Maji Burger, Kagami decided to wear his pants, so low he was dragging it behind him. "I ain't even trippin!" He would yell at the passerby's that would stare at him. When Kuroko took out his new Iphone, Kagami yelled out "Dat's dope!" Kuroko had enough. He threw a fork at Kagami, barley missing his face. He walked home along that day.

He found Kagami at his house…again. He decided to just deal with him and let him stay for one night. That one night, he was scared. After he finished dinner, Kagami eating too damn much, he decided to go to bed. He did the usual, brush his teeth for 3 minutes, combed his hair so it wouldn't be so bad of a bed hair in the morning form, about… 20 minutes. After he was satisfied with the results, he decided to head to bed. But all of a sudden, he heard some music. _Who would be playing music at this time of the night? On a school night too… _He wondered. He followed the music to one of his guest rooms. "Kagami what are-…" Kagami was… what was it called? Werking? Swerving? Ah yes… Kagami was twerking. His eyes wanted to bleed. He silently closed the door and called up Akashi. _Ring…_ Akashi better pick up the darn the phone. **"Hello Tetsuya? Why are you calling me so late?" **came Akashi's calm reply to the call. "Can I stay at your house for tonight… again?" **"Why do you even need to ask? If I say no, you'll just breaking into my house again." **"So that's a yes?" **"Fine… you can come over." **Kuroko turned off his cell phone and told his personal butler to drive him to Akashi's house.

"Well Tetsuya, what a pleasant surprise. You could have knocked or at least rung the doorbell…" "That's too inconvenient for you, especially at night." "Well, what did Taiga do to you now?" Akashi asked as Kuroko slipped into the bed beside him. "He… was twerking… and I think my eyes were bleeding. He was bad at it too… Please help my eyes Seijuro… they hurt." Akashi nodded and patted the bluenette's head. "I know how you feel… I know how you feel…" The red head hugged the smaller boy. "How do you know what twerking looks like Seijuro?" "… My team… had a twerking party…and I was invited… I came… and got scared… for the first time." "I am sorry I asked Seijuro, I didn't mean to bring that up…" "It's ok…it's ok…"

"Oi Kuroko!" "That's a first Kagami, you didn't saw something about swag this time…" "Ah… I got over it." The two stopped. Then Kuroko did something very unlike himself. He threw his milkshake on Kagami who then started to look at the boy in disbelief. "Kuroko, isn't that you milkshake?" "Do you know how much my eyes hurt from seeing you twerking?" Silence. "You saw that….?" "Yes, it was very disturbing. I never want to look at you again." "Oh come on Kuroko! I wasn't that bad!" "You fail so badly, my eyes started bleeding." And so, the light and shadow of Seirin, became their normal selves.

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And there you go… It kind of felt rushed… well… whatever. BUT! I have an idea for a new story… and it's not crack this time so… taadaa!


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